As often happens when we tweet about infant feeding policy, one of our members recently received a dismissive reply. The commenter argued that ‘no one can stop a mum giving their baby formula’ and said this was all just a matter of ‘parental choice’.
But in the current context, is how we feed our babies a straightforward choice? And is it fair to say that mums are free to give their babies formula? We felt that a thread was needed! We have turned it into a blog here.
So, let’s talk about what ‘parental choice’ means in the current context…
You, new parent, will be informed by trusted healthcare authorities and professionals that breastfeeding has many many many benefits. This includes everything from mother-baby bonding to preventing infection, obesity and leukaemia, even tackling climate change and stopping babies poo from smelling. It will seem that there is no problem or social ill that cannot be helped if we squirt enough breastmilk on it.
You will be informed that almost any mother can exclusively breastfeed with ‘the right support’, though most UK women stop breastfeeding, and the reasons they give include issues with milk supply, latching the baby on and pain.
You will not be informed of these problems. No, our trusted healthcare authorities cannot accept that complications resulting from breastfeeding are common and often intolerable. So they convince themselves (and you) that the problem is formula marketing and a ‘lack of support’.
But have no fear, because you, dear mother, will have plenty of support. You will give birth in a ‘Baby Friendly’ hospital, which will ensure you get no sleep because there is no nursery. You will be holding your baby for an hour in the nude on your breasts when they’re born. You will be told not to give your baby a drop of formula unless staff deem it ‘medically necessary’, and, naturally, you will believe that they will inform you if this is the case. So, no excuses that you’re tired or in pain: what did you expect with a newborn, you poor deluded fool?
If you protest that you are, indeed, absolutely f****ing exhausted and in pain, staff will conclude that your expectations for newborn behaviour are the product of a ‘formula feeding culture’ and a lack of support for you. They will gather round to encourage you. What a great mother you are! You’re amazing! Go, milky mama, you’re a hero, you deserve a medal! And if encouragement isn’t enough, let’s cut your baby’s tongue to help them breastfeed (no, we have no good evidence this will help them breastfeed, but we believe it and so should you).
We will not tell you that there is no impressive evidence to inform how breastfeeding support might help prevent or resolve the excruciating pain you are in. Neither is there evidence for how to resolve problems with your milk supply or your baby’s latch. Nor will we tell you that insufficient milk supply and complications resulting from inadequate milk intake (excessive weight loss, jaundice, dehydration, hypoglycaemia and faltering growth) are common and known complications of exclusive breastfeeding.
Nor will we acknowledge that the numbers of newborns admitted to hospital on an emergency basis due to such complications have risen markedly in the time that the NHS has taken it upon itself to advise all women to exclusively breastfeed.
And if you’re a smart-arse who works it out for yourself (this data is in the public domain) and say so, we will tell you: ‘it’s so sad that women are discharged from hospital too soon and don’t get the support they need’. And we will look at you like you have ten heads when you say: ‘don’t you mean it’s sad babies don’t get the milk they need?’
Then, when you crack and give your baby formula and are mighty upset at having been lied to and manipulated and that your baby has come to harm, we will diagnose you as ‘an angry woman’ and possibly suffering from ‘breastfeeding grief‘.
Some might call all this ‘parental choice’. We prefer to call it cultish manipulation, grooming and coercion of women at their most vulnerable time! What is worse, this coercion often results in utterly preventable harm to newborn babies and their families.
If you have more examples of how current breastfeeding promotion policy undermines parental choice’, join the conversation on X.